What makes someone a lover?

Is the frequency of intercourse? Is a feeling in between the pleasure and the will to see each other? Is the presence of habits, of things you don’t need to say aloud because you both understand at once?

The fact is that I met a few guys more than once, but that was just having sex more than once, and then there was this guy whom I met, I don’t know, 10 times in a year and I should probably call him my first lover, in a literary sense.

I decided to meet him the first time just because he lived in a place where I use to go when I was a child: there was a lovely bakery (I can still remember the smell of bread after school that made me so hungry), a close friend of mine with a big house and a big garden where we could play outside, a shop where we used to go because it was full of technology, music, games.

I don’t remember if we started our habit of having sex right from the first time or if it became a routine slowly, but this was our tacit pattern:

• I go in, he is watching TV on the sofa, generally some vintage movie (we always met on Saturday night) and we talk about the city we are in, our works, guys, movies
• then he opens a bottle of white wine from North Italy, which I really love, he knows that and have always a new bottle in the fridge
• while I finish my wine, he smokes a joint – I don’t – and if it is winter he stays in the kitchen and we talk in 2 different rooms, if it is summer we both go on the balcony and look around (I try to spot the house of my previous friend every time)
• when we are both on the sofa, we start kissing and this is always the part that I like most. He is an amazing kisser, we smell of wine and smoke, we kissed romantically and passionately, we touch our bodies, start undressing slowly, we both get excited and don’t want to stop and get naked. Just one time he undressed completely and started blowing me, all the other times sofa is just for kissing, sex comes later and elsewhere
• he starts walking towards his bedroom and asks me to follow him. We both get undressed by ourselves: I still don’t know if I prefer to do it by myself, quick and easy, or to let the other guy doing it, if awkward or exciting you never know before. He has a laptop with a porno movie, we never look at it, but still it is always our background
• in the sex we have precise roles, I’m top and he is bottom, but most of the time I start blowing him. I enjoy it at most when he stands and first I knee and take his cock in my mouth, then I start licking his balls, finally grab his buttock and give him a full rimming, which blows his mind away
• then I fuck him, sometimes still standing right after the rimming, otherwise on the bed, generally doggy style, but if we are face to face, we always kiss and taste of each other. Generally he uses popper at the top of pleasure – I don’t – and comes while I fuck him. Generally I use a condoms, unfortunately not always and this was the end of it
• after sex we go back to the kitchen, I get dressed, he stays naked on the sofa, drinking wine, talking again, we kiss to say goodbye, he opens the door and stays behind it. I have a last glance on his body and generally go to eat an icecream because I’m starving
• we had a couple of major exceptions during what became our last encounter. We started laying naked on the bed kissing, then he began licking my ear, my neck, suddenly he was behind me playing with my ass. I felt excited, open my legs for him, he penetrated me and started fucking me in a double decker style. Hard and fast. No condom. He gave me a deep pleasure close to orgasm. Eventually I stopped him and said it was my turn. I fucked him even harder, doggy style, I could see parts of his skin getting red for the excitement around his neck, back, cheeks, and I came part inside him and part on his ass. That was probably the best sex we had both together and even with other partners. We were even sweeter while parting
• Some weeks later I discover to have a sexual disease, that I could easily heal. I cannot say for sure that it was his fault, but still I didn’t feel like seeing him anymore. He never texted me from his side, so, whatever happened, we felt the same way, tacitly again

He was a great, passionate and kind lover. Sex was amazing. He always made me feel like I can give such an intense pleasure with my body. Wine was always good. The moments on the balcony had at the same time the ease of relax and the announcement of quick excitement. I hope he is having a good life and he has realized the project he told me about.

If I came back, I would never change our routine.